For this week’s blog I stepped out of my comfort zone and into the world of script writing for the very first time. Whilst I usually enjoy creative writing and find it rather easy, I found it challenging to write this piece as I realised that script writing is very different to writing a narrative or poem.
Write a short script that depicts a man or woman collapsing in a rage of jealousy.
CHARACTERS:
Noah
Elise
Maya
Two sisters, Elise and Maya, walk up a driveway to a friend’s house for a birthday party. They come to a stop at the door and ring the doorbell. Maya looks at Elise suspiciously.
Maya: Bit strange that Noah invited you isn’t it?
Elise: What do you mean?
Maya: Well I’m his best friend so of course he invited me. We’ve known each other our whole lives. But I’ve never seen you talk to him… other than when you’re making fun of us.
Elise: Well we’ve been [Elise pauses as if looking for the right word] talking lately.
Maya impatiently rings the doorbell again, before turning back to her sister with a skeptical expression on her face.
Maya: Talking?
Elise: Dating, actually
Maya’s suspicions are confirmed but before she can say anything she is interrupted by the door being swung open.
Noah: Hey! My two favourite people. Please, come in
Elisa and Noah embrace in a hug and conversation. The stage goes dark and a single spotlight falls on Maya as she turns to the audience.
Maya: What else can be taken from me by her? My older sister. The golden child. Pretty, smart, charismatic and prefered by all except for one person who usually favoured me… until now I suppose. I can feel the sting of jealousy’s claws tearing into my heart, gripping so tight until I bleed. Perhaps that is the one thing I am better at. My sister has never felt pain like I have, envy like I have, nor worked as hard as I have to impress others. There I win. But everything else is hers.
Literature with Anna 
Hi Anna,
Yes…I completely agree with the fact that script writing is challenging! The title of your dialogue is promising and invites thoughts as to how envy will encapsulate the characters in your story. You’ve managed to grab the attention of your readers instantly by having the drama begin early on in the script. I am immediately interested in why the character Maya would feel suspicious of her sister.
In terms of dialogue, I feel that you have managed to capture the differing personalities of these two sisters as well as Maya’s opinion of Elise. I like your inclusion of movements and facial expressions to externalise the internal thoughts of these characters – very beneficial for visual story telling! The only thing I feel the need to critique you on is the length of your script. I feel as though you could have reached a conclusion of some sort and added a bit more drama to the story.
Overall, you have done an awesome job, keep up the great work!
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Hi Anna,
I really liked your script, specifically the soliloquy that is matched with stage lighting (which is a very dramatic and nice use of stage directions). On the topic of stage directions, you fall into a book like description at “Maya’s suspicions are confirmed but before she can say anything she is interrupted by the door being swung open.” which wouldn’t be obvious to the audience and doesn’t give much direction to the actors. Instead try adding something like “She stands in obvious shock” to really give that visual aspect to the performance. I also really like the brevity of the script, it’s short and to the point.
Good job!
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Great work Anna. Overall an excellent journal!
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