I gaze up at the sky, only to be met with the sun’s harsh stare,
“We’re lost!” I shout, but nobody listens, ignoring me and the cries of my aching feet,
I linger behind their stubborn footprints and hope, yet doubt, that we’re almost there
But when the moon rises and I’m proven right, the feeling is bittersweet.
The trees peer down at us, mocking our aimless walking
As we desperately try to remember our way back,
Beyond the sound of our childish squabbles, we are silenced by the euphony of water falling,
We smile at the waterfall and I can’t help but think, oh I’m so glad we lost our track.
Literature with Anna 
Anna- I love the language you have chosen here. You capture well the feeling and mood of the experience. Well done… But I wonder could you experiment and try to shape it into the form of a Paterson poem? That would a be a real challenge. If you do try, let me know so that I can have a look….
MG
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Hey Anna,
I love the language you have used here… I feel the idealist coming out of you. Even though it was a little short, I could relate to it a lot. Great use of imagery as I was able to see just what you intended. The only feedback i would give you is to try and create it as more of a Banjo Paterson poem to adhere to the idealist ways and to also try to create a longer poem as i wanted to keep reading. Other than that the poem was great and am looking forward to reading more from you. You are a great writer. 🙂
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